How to Handle Rejection

July 17, 2017

One reason we often hold back our true selves is fear of because we fear rejection. Rejection strengthens underlying fears of being unwanted and not good enough, making it difficult to bare for many people.

However, life is rich and complex so of course some people are going to adore you and others aren’t. Some are going to pull away because of their own limitations and fears. It is important to not take rejection personally, even though it hurts and feels like it reflects on you. Loving yourself and knowing your own worth will make rejection much more tolerable. If you aren’t there yet, treat yourself as if you are—kindly supporting and nurturing yourself in a loving tone.

To handle rejection we want to avoid extremes. For instance, don’t cling on to that person or to reject him or her back.  Instead, be honest, sincere, and authentic about your feelings. If it is a romantic relationship and you still want to be with the person, fight for the relationship by vulnerably communicating that you are still in love and want to keep trying. Express how much it hurts but respect what they want.

Another example of extremes you want to avoid when you feel rejected is isolating or being active 24-7. While you need to grieve and feel your feelings, being alone crying too much of the time will make you feel more lonely and prevent your receiving the care and support you need from others. On the other hand, partying or making yourself busy all the time with activities or work in order to cope, will help you avoid the pain but not give you the space to heal. You need some of both!  Make sure not push away your friends and other support system or cancel your usual routine for more than a few days, but also make sure to take time every day alone to cry or grieve in whatever way you want so you don’t ignore your feelings and have to deal with the consequences later.

Remember that you are lovable. The relationship no one can take away from you is the one with yourself. Nurture this relationship every day and honor the beauty of who you are. That investment will allow you to weather all sorts of painful situations with kindness, ease, and natural resilience.