Learning to love yourself is a process of letting go. Letting go of the way you currently see yourself (and the comfort in that familiarity), of the past pain that created your self-image and the false beliefs from those experiences which continue to harm you, and of defenses that stand in your way of blossoming.
A lot of my clients ask how to let go—how to grow and change, how to let themselves receive love, how to stop criticizing themselves. It is not a fight with yourself to change, it is through care and permission and adding resources to your system. Thich Nhat Hanh describes this process as a room full of hot air and you turn on the air conditioning. It doesn’t push the hot air out or make it go away, the cool air embraces and shifts the warm air until very soon it is cool in the room.
Yourself Truly adds insights, skills, awareness, and resources to your conscious and unconscious to help your deepest self be ready to let go and to love yourself. Once you are brave enough to take the leap, have worked through the blocks that trick you into thinking you can’t or that something bad will happen if you do, the actual letting go is up to you and is soft and easy like an exhale.
I love this poem, by Rev. Safire Rose, to help you embrace the ease of it. When your heart is ready it will just let go and love your true self.
She Let Go
~Rev. Safire Rose
She let go. Without a thought or a word, she let go.
She let go of the fear. She let go of the judgments. She let go of the confluence of opinions swarming around her head. She let go of the committee of indecision within her. She let go of all the ‘right’ reasons. Wholly and completely, without hesitation or worry, she just let go.
She didn’t ask anyone for advice. She didn’t read a book on how to let go. She didn’t search the scriptures. She just let go. She let go of all of the memories that held her back. She let go of all of the anxiety that kept her from moving forward. She let go of the planning and all of the calculations about how to do it just right.
She didn’t promise to let go. She didn’t journal about it. She didn’t write the projected date in her Day-Timer. She made no public announcement and put no ad in the paper. She didn’t check the weather report or read her daily horoscope. She just let go.
She didn’t analyze whether she should let go. She didn’t call her friends to discuss the matter. She didn’t do a five-step Spiritual Mind Treatment. She didn’t call the prayer line. She didn’t utter one word. She just let go.
No one was around when it happened. There was no applause or congratulations. No one thanked her or praised her. No one noticed a thing. Like a leaf falling from a tree, she just let go.
There was no effort. There was no struggle. It wasn’t good and it wasn’t bad. It was what it was, and it is just that.
In the space of letting go, she let it all be. A small smile came over her face. A light breeze blew through her. And the sun and the moon shone forevermore.