Thanks to our brain’s abundant neuroplasticity, we really can change! You can absolutely have the loving relationship with yourself that you want. Our brain learns through repetition, focused attention, and many other factors. We especially absorb experiences that are emotionally evocative and imprint them deeply because they are likely to be more relevant to survival. While this can cause our more difficult life experiences to leave us with powerful, and not always true, impressions of ourselves, others, and the world, the same process can apply to beautiful emotional moments. In healing, for instance, when we feel our feelings and have a reparative experience, we can deeply change our nervous system. We can now even observe changing neuronal webs as we heal and evolve.
The two factors that must be present in this healing process are that the neuronal webs we want to change are activated and that a healing experience occurs at the same time. To activate, or light up, these parts of the brain we must be experiencing what they hold. For instance, if you feel like you are a bad person you would need to be actively feeling like a bad person, not just thinking the idea “I’m bad,” or talking about how you feel like a bad person, but actually feeling like a bad person in order to actually change the part of you that holds that. Then, while feeling how bad you are, you would need to have a reparative experience. Perhaps you receive deep comfort or understanding from yourself or someone else, or maybe you challenge that belief about yourself in a sincere or convincing way that opens you to another possibility and touches you emotionally. I believe the key ingredient to this reparative experience is love. Can we give it to ourselves? Absolutely! Love is transformative and you have it inside. If you need help accessing it, YT will bring you the inspiration and guidance to get there, as well as help learning to receive from yourself and others.